Volume 43, July 2009

(Or, I Never Thought I’d Have So Much Fun)

All Aries – Can you imagine the incredible demolition derbies? Everyone would be so sure of themselves. Unlike its reputation for wars, I think they’d all be over in 5 minutes. Aries get things off of their chests and are over it. We’d all be young beyond our years. Most women would stay thin in their later years. All babies would be so loved. We could attire everyone with “What About Me?” T-shirts! What a simply marvelous world. There would be a lot of prominent foreheads and noses everywhere. There would be no stored up stress anywhere; what a relief.

All Taurus – No one would steal anything – they wouldn’t dare. Moving Vans would be unheard of. Mediators would be useless. The gardening business would boom! The number of ear, nose, and throat specialist would grow astronomically. Clothing sales would go way down. Beard-trimming devices sales would rise. My. We would all have our portraits drawn in oil. How nice that would be.

All Gemini – We would have flea-markets the size of Texas! Man. No author would need to struggle with endings to their stories! We would all look so young! Bra sizes would only be small. TV Variety shows would make a comeback. No one would need to get married – how boring. We’d all be cute. Encyclopedias and libraries would be unnecessary. We would all have 4 laptops each – and they would be networked wirelessly. All babies would be twins and double-dating would be required. We’d never be bored again.

All Cancers - Bra sizes would all be large or extra-large. Family historians would be the hit. Tissue and doily sales would mushroom. Pink would be the “in” color. We wouldn’t need loud-speakers. The number of grievance counselors would quadruple. “Mother’s Day” would eclipse Christmas. All people would inherit their parent’s occupations. All family members would have adjacent homes. “I’m sorry” cards would be the hot item at Hallmark. New home sales would be a thing of the past. We’d all be warm and fuzzy.

All Leo – Oh, wow, is this fun. Earplug sales go up. Dance and singing lesson triple. No need for psychiatrists or psychologist because everyone is “fine” already! We’d all look like David Crosby or the Cowardly Lion! Big eyes all around. Big hair too. Imagine the new shows on TV! Every home would have a theater-in-the-round stage and special lighting installed. Shame would be a thing of the past. R-E-S-P-E-C-T would be the ONLY song played on AM radio. We’d be happy, we’d all sing and showers would have built in recording facilities.

All Virgo – Man, would things be clean. Everything would work! Everybody too. Barbers and stylist positions would be plentiful. Everything would fit. Hospitals would be staffed with the very, very best. No one would make any mistakes. We wouldn’t need erasers or white-out. What a world! The globe would spin exactly 365 days per year instead of an extra ¼ day – therefore, no more Leap Day and Year! It would be a law punishable by death (sterile injection) to criticize another. What a decent honorable world, eh?

All Libra – Think of the jewelry! No broken nails. The makeup sales! We’d be some beautiful people all right. Everything, simply everything would look so nice. Beautiful teeth and hair. Fair people. Ads for decision-making services. Sales of “Magic Eight Balls” skyrocket. Divorce lawyer is the hot avocation. Paparazzi goes wild. People fight to be on the cover of “People Magazine.” We’d all be so nice and tactful and gracious. What a beautiful world.

All Scorpio – Oh my. Sunglasses sales go way up. Gun sales are strictly forbidden. Old Richard Burton/Liz Taylor movies resurrect as “Photoplay Magazines” become priceless. Daytime TV spreads to every cable channel. Jail cells multiply. Passion Fruit is the new dessert. All people will finally die by taking a bullet for their loved ones. No one has any more secrets but is able to keep one if one slips. Sex Education starts in kindergarten. Old men must have Viagra blood-tests every week starting at age 70. Oh my, what an intensely meaningful world.

All Sagittarius – What FUN! The world is one big circus! South America is renamed “New Disney.” Credit cards are abolished – so are loan companies. Smiles are mandatory. Sternness, strictness, moroseness, sadness, and all forms of depression are punishable by endless tickling. Whoopie cushions are randomly placed through all public buildings. Only a small percentage of public toilets are actually real. Gag shops abound. Travel agencies are on every block. Internet is fast and free for all. All living rooms are required to have soap boxes. It’s simply a great place to live.

All Capricorn – All dogs on leashes, even inside the home. Mandatory 2.1 children and country club memberships. Weekly chiropractic adjustment. Required knee-flexing every day at noon for 15 minutes. No music – no type, anywhere, anytime. No divorces either. Kids must be happy. No rules can be or are ever broken. No need for police. All politicians are to be trusted. The Democratic Party is to be disbanded. No comedian can address any political subject. No sick days, no illnesses. No crooked lines, no curves, just rhomboids, trapezoids and standard parallelograms. The damn place just works.

All Aquarius – Simply wild. No rules of any type. No penalties either. No full-time jobs. Lewis Carroll books are required. The official name of Aquarius is to be changed to Contrarius. The Water-bearer symbol is changed to the “Polar Water-bearer.” Clothes are optional – so is taste. Intolerance is outlawed. Sex-crimes are a thing of the past. Same-sex marriage is not only legal, so is inter-species. Hell, I’ve seen some cute orangutans lately. No more pollution; we’d all eat organic. We’d all get along so nice – what a utopia.

All Pisces – How wonderful is this!? Nothing matters anymore! Free boat rides – to anywhere! No raising our voices, no crime nor repercussions. Welfare lines stretch for miles. No more makeup. No hair dye. Communes replace all high-rises; free pools and chemicals in all yards. No walls either, all houses are to be one BIG room. Community bedrooms are to be available for all children and teens for overnights. No cameras, recording, electronic devices or TVs. Free bongo drums, Indian flutes, banjos, hammer dulcimers, African djembes, didgeridus, harps and Methadone for all. Dream-catcher construction lessons are free as well as your very own dolphin. How happy we’d all be – all you need is love.

Actually, don’t.

I can’t tell you how many people I’ve read for in the past few years that were born between 1963 and 1969. This sub-generation all have Uranus and Pluto in the sign of Virgo. This radical, but conflicted combination of energies is really coming into play now – worldwide. Uranus and Pluto are the most explosive energies we have. But, when it conjoined in the conservative sign of Virgo, what was it to do? These folks have been sitting on time-bombs, so to speak. And most of them don’t even know it. They have a very controlled volcano inside. And for about the past two years, transiting Uranus has been opposite of where it was then! To begin with, Uranus opposite Uranus, which occurs around the age of 42, is our major “mid-life crisis.” Combine that with the “overly-controlled” Uranus/Pluto conjunction and what I am seeing is exactly what I thought we’d see: that sub-group is asking me now, “What has it gotten me?” This aspect has one more year to go.

Now, there’s nothing wrong with behaving, don’t get me wrong. Joking aside, there’s a whole lot wrong with it if you’ve been “doing what you’re supposed to do” for so long and you’ve lost your fun side or have forgotten how to live.

Remedy: consult any Sagittarian – they’ll help you get started.

My son, Taylor, says it’s probably because our number system is based on our ten fingers. He’s probably right too. Well, from my experience, it makes much more sense to celebrate our 7^th year of marriage, where the marriage is truly tested. And our 14^th year of school, where we have to find our niche. And our 28^th year of anything, where we pass the test of time with a Saturn return. 36 is special as Jupiter completes its 3^rd revolution around the Sun. How about we party at our 42^nd year when Uranus is opposite where it started from as we pass into one of our “mid-life crises?” We certainly should be enjoying ourselves at our 58^th year when Saturn completes its 2^nd orbit. These are all natural numbers and occurrences. We’ve got it all wrong.

And then comes 84, wow is that a big one…….

I have been so astounded to see, over and over again, the importance of a natal planet that is deposited at a right-angle, or square, to the ascendant. If the Sun is in that position, regardless of what sign it is in; the person picks up great LEO traits. Seriously. It’s so because the Sun “rules” Leo. This has been displayed to me to be not only true but a major, major natal influence. And, the closer the square by degree - the stronger the influence. Those with the Moon there have very powerful Cancer traits. Even Mercury gives significant Geminian traits. Venus brings the native Libra traits when in fact they have no planets in Libra. On and on, I keep seeing of all the planets do that. What a sleeper.

This is why it is so important to know which planets rule which signs. In case you’re not up on those, they are listed below:

Sun – Leo                                Jupiter - Sagittarius

Moon – Cancer                       Saturn - Capricorn

Mercury – Gemini                  Chiron - Virgo

Venus – Libra                         Uranus - Aquarius

Mars – Aries                           Neptune – Pisces

                                                Pluto – Scorpio

*Trines, sextiles and other aspects work as well.

** Tradition says that Taurus is also ruled by Venus, I believe it’s ruled by the Earth itself.

Mars in Aries – “Hi, you look like you’ve got my name written all over you.”

Mars in Taurus – “Well, hello there, how much money do you make a year?”

Mars in Gemini – “Yo, what’s the latest?”

Mars in Cancer – “Hi, you wouldn’t sorta kinda like me to kinda buy you a drink – would ya?”

Mars in Leo - “Hey babe, you ever seen someone cut like me?”

Mars in Virgo – “Hello there, just got off work, how about you?”

Mars in Libra – “Hi, wonderful music, isn’t it? Did you make those earrings yourself?”

Mars in Scorpio – “Say, this place is way too bright, isn’t it?”

Mars in Sagittarius – “You wanna ride in my Thunderbird – it’s crazy fun?”

Mars in Capricorn – “Didn’t I see you in church last Sunday?”

Mars in Aquarius – “Hi, did you ever solve a Rubik’s cube?”

Mars in Pisces – “Huh, what did you just say?”

Cheryl and I recently watched the movie, “Night of the Living Dead,” with my good friend, Joe Unitas, and his lovely wife Lorraine. Joe, one of Pittsburgh’s finest photographers, did the lighting on that 1968 cult classic. Back when I was a filmmaker in the 70’s and 80’s, Joe and I made many movies together, specializing in lighting. I was struck to revisit that particular film and noticed how radically stark he had lit the scenes. I mean harsh, unbalanced, nightmarish shadows. In “today’s” films, the technicians carefully place someone in shadow, but yet just visible – and carefully manipulated. Joe told me, “I just put anything I could find in front of the lights to get those off-the-wall shadows.” You could tell. I got to thinking; that had to be URANIAN! That’s what Uranus does. Unconventional, jagged, inventive, jarring – breaking the mold. He literally and figuratively MADE the movie – with his strokes of light. The harsh shadows made the viewer feel naked, surrealistic, and bare - just as if you were about to be eaten alive by a zombie – without Chianti or fava beans. The lighting, more accurately, the shadows had made the film an all-time smash hit. Emergence from the subconscious; now that’s scary.

There it was, I superimposed the planets from 1967 over Joe’s natal chart, and bingo, there was transiting Uranus AND Pluto sitting on his Venus in Virgo. Venus is one’s artistic and aesthetic sensibilities.

It was artistic anarchy

And to think, his Sun sign is Virgo; you knew something had to happen to tempt him so far from the perfected, precise norm. With “normal” lighting, the film would have failed. Filmmakers still try to copy and recreate it. They just don’t get it. Way to go Joe.

…Extreme Personalities…

7/1 Uranus goes Retrograde 3:37a – Uranus is ready to resume its fight with Saturn in Virgo, which never gives up – even when it’s beat. Watch the Left and the Right continue their sophomoric struggles blaming each other. As it appears that “no one will win,” Saturn has no chance against radical, powerful and unpredictable Uranus. The outer planets always “win.” Translation: keep holding on the old forms, Uranus will crack them one way or the other. It demands new solutions. It’s called evolution. Expect the unexpected, of course, that’s the only way to deal with Uranus.

7/6 Mars squares the Jupiter, Neptune & Chiron Stellium. This will be major, especially in situations where one person is outgrowing the other. I keep seeing the theme of folks unhooking their sidecars. “If you want to drive along side of me, that’s great. I’m not waiting any more, and I’m certainly not stopping.”

7/7 Lunar Eclipse 5:21a 15°g24” – This eclipse is far enough away from transiting Pluto and the other planets that we pretty much will have a pure eclipse of Capricornian energy. When we mix the energies of a Sun in Cancer and an eclipsing Moon in Capricorn we get a combination fixated on “nesting.” Whether it’s anchoring a job down, building an office at home, trying harder to secure a family situation, now is when it will come to light (eclipse.) Make sure you take a light stance.

7/10 Jupiter conjuncts Neptune 5:08a - 26°h01” – This is going to be hard to notice. Most people I’ve talked to are NOT feeling the Jupiter, Neptune, and Chiron conjunction that I’ve written so much about. That’s because Neptune is so s-u-b-t-l-e. The reason it’s so hard to see is that it’s everywhere! The collective mind (in Aquarius) is changing – profoundly, and never to be the same again. This exact conjunction of the 2 major conventional planets involved will augment and arouse the energy.

We can’t keep ourselves down. People are being left in the dust if they don’t get with the major spiritual shift that’s going on. Now is the time to ride it! Meditate, pray, paint, chant, whatever... Take your inner callings very seriously now. The winds are just right.

7/21 Solar Eclipse 10:35p 29°a27” – Then, we turn around and we get another eclipse! This is a powerful one also as it appears in Cancer yet triggers the North Node in Aquarius. This clearly calls us to be more individualistic – all of us. We need to let go of some of the pseudo-safety of home and family and gravitate towards our own unique impulses (Aquarius.)

7/22 Sun enters Leo 12:36p – This is very welcome this year. Many of us have been a bit beaten up by Pluto in Capricorn and Saturn in Virgo. I think we need this boost to our self-confidence as well as a good shot of “Fixed Fire” energy that the Leo archetype is comprised of. Go do karaoke. Sing two songs.